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“No way you’re THAT old” “I have mommy syndrome and would be heaven going down on you” That’s just a random, word-for-word sampling of the text messages I get from my online suitors. The last time I had actually dated was 1989 — AKA, pre-internet, pre-social media, pre-cell phones.

” “How bout a full-body massage in exchange for a shoulder rub? OK Cupid, Bumble, Hinge, Happen, Tinder, Match, e Harmony… Back in 2003, I moved to New York City from Seattle, following a divorce after an 11-year marriage.

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I had to learn to date (and have sex) all over again.

You might decide to make a profile on The dating site.

Naturally, you assume that you’ll be connected to other lovers of the publication known for headlines such as "Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day" and "Study Reveals Babies Are Stupid." Instead, your profile is entered into a much larger database -- consisting of some 1,422,000 users -- and you’re paired up with another single who signed for the same service, but through another site,

There are sites for satire enthusiasts, of course, but also for zombie-lovers, objectivists, and people living the mullet life-style.

An observer could be forgiven for thinking that the fast-growing industry is becoming increasingly fragmented. A smaller and smaller number of companies are controlling a greater and greater share of the market. That company is a property of Friend Finder Network.