I DON'T THINK SO.)I'm also the kind of girl who, every single time she has a hangover, is convinced she has a drinking problem, and Googles the closest AA meeting. I remember the first time I fell in love with a girl, I felt literally high on drugs.I'm not trying to make light of addictions; trust me. Anyway, the other day I was walking to work in the 4 million degree Manhattan weather when I started to listen to my favorite podcast, the delicately titled “The Mental Illness Happy Hour” with comedian Paul Gilmartin. At the time, I was partying way too much, basically treating my life like it was a game of Russian roulette because I was numb and disconnected after a sexual trauma.I’ve been lucky in my time as an out bisexual women to encounter a lot of lesbians who have lived out wonderful examples of how to be a solid ally to my needs as a bi woman.These are friends who, despite being uninterested in men, will support me in whichever relationships I happen to end up in, and talk me through heartbreak without blaming it on my bisexuality.But unfortunately, not all lesbians are quite as great for bisexual women.There remains persistent biphobia in the lesbian community, mainly that which extends from a disregard for men.
It has been six months and I feel like we have a strong, trusting, and loving relationship. Here's the "but" (otherwise I wouldn't be writing): she still lives with her ex-girlfriend and wants me to go to their house to hang out and spend the night. After going there a few times (for dinner and once while the ex was out of town), I won’t do it anymore.
I absolutely believe her when she says that they are friends (almost every lesbian is friends with her exes) and that there is no possibility that they will get back together. It is so incredibly uncomfortable, awkward, and stilted.
On the other hand, she says that her ex is her "best friend." They talk and text daily. Her ex is nice enough to me, but won’t look me in the eye and I feel her hurt each time I see her (something my current girlfriend doesn’t see).
Some lesbians, in attempt to get past their biphobia, have asked me what it looks like to be a better ally to the bisexual community.
Some of us, as bisexual women, are going to date men. For some lesbians, this is going to be hard to understand, as men hold absolutely no attraction.